Our next full day in Rhodes brough us to the charming Oniro Art Mezze conveniently located on the block of our hotel. I’d booked it in advance based on it’s numerous amazing reviews. The Gentleman saw it on the street and said this is exactly the place we need to sample a proper mezze. Lucky for him, I’d already booked it. The anticipation of the evening’s meal was palpable.

With an early reservation, we said hello to the chef who pointed us to our table on the terrace. I’d mentioned to the restaurant that we were celebrating our engagement. So, they taped up this cute Happy Anniversary sign for a charming amount of lost in translation for us an our neighbors who inquired as to how many years was our celebration.

We opted for the mezze, of course, and were greeted with a very thick (very dry) white bread and a large bowl of vegetable soup. What on earth… in hind sight we should have taken the check and run right then and there. Who is serving clearly a ‘get rid of the veg’ leftover soup on a 90 degree day? Oniro it would turn out.

After we ate as much soup as we could we were treated to number of various dips (stingily measured out in tablespoon sized tastes), which seemed exactly like why I came to Greece. They were definitely the worst ones we had of our four days in Rhodes. As the courses continued, we were told which dip to eat with which course. This was not at all helpful as the dips had been consumed early with the bread provided and not replenished.

Next up was a Greek salad. Fine, but nothing to write home about.

Then it was time for fried bits- a strong cheese in one, chick pea in another, and the driest meatball that was only presented as “Granny’s.” Really not great.

There was one feta in phyllo to share, that had nothing on Blue Coyote’s the night before.

There was moussaka and pastitsio, both seemingly cooked in an inch of their life in a very oily tomato sauce. Again, not what you’re after on a 90 degree day.

Still hoping for greatness, we tried two more plates- small servings of various stews. They weren’t the worst, but absolutely not what we wished to eat. We understood mezze to be bits and bobs and a grilled fish or meat. This was like the height of winter comfort food.

Finally, a dessert platter of a tasteless chocolate cake and an orange one that wasn’t so bad.

While the service was good and atmosphere nice enough, I wouldn’t recommend Oniro for a special occasion. There is plenty better food to be had in Rhodes and I’m really confused about the number of raving reviews.